Funeral etiquette - flowers, gift etc, what to do?

My best friend%26#039;s, daughters%26#039; baby has passed away after 3 months of life. I%26#039;ve never been to a funeral before (amazing but true) and am not sure what to do. Should I take flowers (wreath, boquet or what) or is it better to give a gift to the baby%26#039;s mother instead. If so what kind of gift is appropriate. The baby was a little boy.





Thanks in advance for your advice.

Funeral etiquette - flowers, gift etc, what to do?
You could send flowers to the funeral parlor for the wake. In an obituary, it will say if they would like flowers or some people want donations made in the deceased%26#039;s name. (like to a children%26#039;s hospital where your friends granddaughter was seen.) I would ask your friend what would be good to bring, if anything. You don%26#039;t want to make her more upset. A good bet is sending a sympathy card in advance. I%26#039;m sorry for your friend%26#039;s loss, his/her daughter%26#039;s baby will be in my prayers tonight.
Reply:I agree with musicmen. A friend of mine gave me a single white rose at my mother%26#039;s funeral (sympathy) and a single pink rose at my dad%26#039;s funeral (to show that life still goes on). Please give your friend my sincere condolences. As for what flower(s) would be appropriate for this situation, please consult a florist.


Take care.
Reply:Wow, very sorry to hear that. I would see if they have an account set up for the family. Chances are since the baby was so young, they didnt%26#039; have any insurance for him or her and funeral arrangements are not cheap. One less thing for your friends to worry about.





Flowers are beautiful, but they have to move them from the funeral home and they don%26#039;t last long.
Reply:Usually people have a flower basket or vase delivered to the funeral home handling the service...or you can make a donation in the childs name to a charity...for example Children%26#039;s Hospital. Also if the young mom is uninsured, you may want to give her some money in a sympathy card so that she can use it toward such a sad and unexpected expense. Most importantly...is to be there for your friend and her daughter
Reply:There are some good suggestions here, but please don%26#039;t forget (I%26#039;m assuming here) that the baby also has a father who will probably be just as devastated as the mother...





For myself, I would check with my friend as to what the protocol would be....flowers or a donation...she will be the one who knows how her grandchild%26#039;s parents are feeling.





I am so sorry for their loss...
Reply:Your local florist will advise you on what to send. I can%26#039;t think of any appropriate gift for the grieving mother. How terribly sad.
Reply:you could just bring flowers. bring one for the child to put on the casket. and one for the mother.





all your friend really needs is to know is that she has a good friend that will be there for her when she needs you.
Reply:Giving a donation to an appropriate charity is always appreciated. The charity usually lets the family know that you gave a gift if you can give them your friends name and address. A plant that can continue to grow is a wonderful memorial to a loved one (Hydrangeas or Azaleas are nice). It would be appropriate to give the gift to either your friend or her daughter since both are grieving. You can take it to the funeral or their house before or after.
Reply:just flowers.... and because its your best friend just make sure your there for her always and help her do anything
Reply:You can send flowers, however during a funeral their will be many people sending flowers. Give money in that persons honor as that money will help cover the cost of the funeral.





PS- Bring kleenex, you need it!
Reply:check and see with your best friend if you could send over food (be sure to verify any allergies, etc beforehand).





grieving families often have so much on their minds that they tend not to eat very well during this sad time.





you could even see if you could organize a group of people to provide dinner for the daughter %26amp; her family for a week or two.



acting resources